Can I talk about something real for a second?
For anyone who saw my Instagram stories last week I mentioned an incident that has been weighing heavily on me and I want to share what happened here. This post is for any creative who struggled with imposter syndrome or has had someone attack their work for no reason at all.
To preface, I think it’s important to say that this incident had absolutely nothing to do with any of my clients or their experiences. In fact, I have never met, spoke with, or worked with the person involved or anyone they know.
I’m a part of a couple of Tennessee wedding facebook groups and in those groups sometimes vendors will post ads reaching out to potential clients. In mid October I posted one such ad. And a week or two ago someone commented on said ad stating that my work looked like “crappy flip phone photos taken in poor lighting” This hit me pretty hard. But, an admin saw that comment, determined that it went against the group’s rules and policies and deleted the comment. Then, last week, this person commented again on the post and responded to someone who was interested in booking with me stating “Don’t do it, she’s TERRIBLE” and commented again telling me that I was a child for deleting their previous comment. An admin came onto the thread and told them that it wasn’t me who deleted it and told them that what they were saying was unnecessary and rude. So this person tells the admin that I’m an “unprofessional/scam artist/fraud/hack” and that anyone who books with me is getting scammed. Obviously, at this point I’m super confused and a little worried that someone is using my name to scam people. After the admin asked this person for proof that I’m scamming people (which didn’t come) they were removed from the group and all of their comments deleted.
But, what they said is still weighing on me. I spend everyday thinking about this incident and wondering if I am good enough to be a photographer. My rational brain knows that this person probably just didn’t like my editing style (which is totally fine) and maybe COVID has hit them to the point where they’re so bored they need to trash random people on the internet and I’m not the only one they’ve been doing this to. Who knows?
The moral of this story is that as soon as those first comments were posted I had a ton of my vendor friends reaching out to me giving me tons of support and love. People were shocked that someone would even say things like that for no reason, and they were impressed with how I responded (I did reply to the first couple of comments) they all told me that I was super professional and way nicer to that person than they would have been.
This incident showed me who my support system was and the people that I could rely on. Even though I haven’t fully gotten through the hump of being okay with what happened and I’m still kinda second guessing myself, knowing that I have people who stand behind me no matter what is really what matters. Not everyone is going to like your work, and that’s okay. Not everyone has to, the only person who truly has to like your work is you. If you’re happy with what you’re putting out into the world then that’s the most important thing, the rest will come with time.
If you’re still reading this, holy cow, THANK YOU 💕and also please reach out to me if you ever need help or someone to vent/cry/talk to. I’m here for you.